FRAUDSTERS • Evolutionary Biology textbooks falsely imply that phylogenies based on biochemical similarities usually agree with phylogenies based on anatomical similarities. (Phylogenies are evolutionary “trees” showing patterns of alleged evolutionary descent among “related” life forms.)
TRICKSTERS • Evolutionary Biology textbooks never note that phylogenies based on biochemical similarities also often contradict each other. Because the concept of phylogenies self-destructs, no amount of geological time can salvage any evolutionary scenario.
GAMESTERS • Evolutionary Biology textbooks finesse this massive discrepant factuality by vaguely defining evolution as “descent with modification” or “change over time,” without specifying “descent from what with which modification(s)” or exactly “which changes from what over time?”
PRANKSTERS • Evolutionary Biology textbooks
VAGUELY DEFINE EVOLUTION to
ARTFULLY DODGE AND MASK ANTAGONISTIC PHYLOGENIES. (“Close relationships” among life forms vary with characteristics compared, and often radically clash, multiplying super-chaotic, wildly-antithetical, hyper-mega-dissonant pseudo-“ancestries.”)
SHYSTERS • Evolutionary Biology textbooks try to void the damning onus of myriad mutually-exclusive anatomical and biochemical phylogenies by invoking “convergent evolution.”
Yet even so clever a riff cannot muzzle so great a pack of howling anathemas.
HUCKSTERS • Evolutionary Biology textbooks blur this huge conundrum: Life forms that supposedly “converged” based on one characteristic, often putatively “diverged” based on another. Subjective opinions, not objective rules, decide (i.e., guess) which “converged” or “diverged.”
FEISTERS • Evolutionary Biology textbooks purport that a non-uniformitarian past – life spontaneously generating from non-life – is key to the uniformitarian present.
Highly discordant phylogenies align well with non-uniformitarianism but very poorly with evolution.
GYPSTERS • Evolutionary Biology textbooks claim “the present is the key to the past.”
Rival disruptive phylogenies – capriciously idiosyncratic! dysfunctionally irreconcilable! – catastrophically counter notions of a uniformitarian, evolutionary present and
debunk “descent” scenarios.
CLOISTERS • Evolutionary Biology textbooks shield these festering gangrenous cancers. Case law says lancing them in public ed is constitutional, if antisepsis (like that done here) is secular and non-theistic and shuns (as these antidotes do) scientific creationism, intelligent design, and/or a young Earth.
